a baby talking

sorry for the grammatical error....this is a baby talking ;p

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when i was a fetus

momma was so thin

and weak

she cant eat anything

cant even drink

she will throw it out

all out

poor momma

but she was/is a strong woman

she still did her work 

as a mom and wife

papa was/is such a loving husband

he did everything to help momma feel better

every time momma need to go to clinic

papa carried her like a baby

because she was too weak to carry her own body

everybody said papa spoiled her wife so much

but they were just jealous

coz papa loves his wife unconditionally 

when i was a baby

i loved to cry

i was afraid of people i didn't recognized 

so hard for momma to go anywhere

im sorry momma

momma carried me with her left hand while cooking

momma carried me everywhere she went

or else ill cried my lungs out 

everybody told momma

dont spoiled me too much

momma said..she wasnt spoiled me

she was just being a mom

and as always...papa being a loving husband and papa

he helped his wife whenever he can

and their love grew 

when i was a teenager

oh my

i was such a horrible stubborn person

i cannot count how many times i hurt their feelings..sigh

in school, i was okay...excellent in every aspects

in house and outside school, i was not okay...excellent in every bad attitudes

i hurt momma's feeling not a million times...but triple million times

momma was the one who looked after us everyday

papa was so far away...several times a month only i got to see him

i know he was hurt too..but i was too rebel to care

as far as i remember, he never scolded me ..beat me? not even once

but they never give up hope on me

not that i didnt have something for them to proud of...

many things to be proud of but...

i was just too rebellious to handle..thats it

errrr can i skip this part ;p

"kalau mama tak sayang...tidak akan ditegur ..tidak akan dimarah...kalau satu hari mama tak marah kamu... tak tegur kamu...ingatlah!! masa tu...mama dah tak sayang lagi" ~~~momma

every time momma said this...i will cry... hahaha

after spm...

the only thing momma regretted

and sad about was

i had to go far....far away from her

momma always said

when you were a baby...so hard for you to let me go

and now...you want to leave me here, so far away even my eyes cant see  ..tears

oh...my heart crushed into tiny million pieces every time she said this

and papa? hahaa he always act strong but failed ..he cried every time i called him

love my parents so much

and the only reason i write this

is because...i miss them so much

so very much not even words can describe

tears :( hugs and kissses

 love your parents

take care of them

always

xoxo

your rebellious daughter

nina rafael

2.21pm

lost in longing