carry on

today

October 31, 2012

end of October

time really flies huh

:)

2 months to go

to new year

hey 2013

i admit it

im a bit nervous

coz you have that number 3

on your back 

ok i lied

im not nervous

i am freaking out

2013 oh ohhh

why you come so fast 

can you please slow down ..heh time

please pleaseee pweaseee...wink2

2013 is the year for me to count

to check. to examine. to inspect

to see. to perceive. to view. to look

to ask. to answer. to query. to interrogate

what and what and why and what and how

and why and have you done and what and why

and how and where and why and what 

and bla bla blaaaa

goodbye October

i was/am happy

hello november

could you please be my angel 

"If you're lost and alone or you're sinking like a stone carry on"

"May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground and carry on." 

 i really love this song

i fell in love with the lyrics

I couldn't stop smiling while watching this. 

I got the chills

I got a little teary

I got that exciting...adventurous feeling in my chest

and i love this acoustic version even more :)

hey lovers

carry on

love,

February lover

6.57pm31oct2012
one step closer

It's not just words on a page

page views by countries : week

The winner goes to : Russia!! yeay *standing ovation

2nd runner up : United States!! weehooo *big applause

Third : Malaysia!! hekhek *hugs :)

its not just words on a page 
its me writing here 

Thank you for making my heart full

much love,

super random me

------------------------------------------------------

my english sucks huh

 I love blogging...it's an outlet

Like a journal..like a diary 

 a place for me to write. to share. to ramble. 

to spit my emotion. to speak my heart

to practice my 'not so good' writing skills

to just share things

its important to use nice words when talking to others

especially your loved ones 

(but my sibling use bad.mean words to show love sometimes haha 

and yet we understand and use more bad words in return :P)

but me 

i dont know how to talk my feelings in nice words

sarcastic is like my food

mean is like my drink 

and i am not proud of it

never proud of it

shame on me

but the strange part is...

i do this to my closest and important person in my life ONLY 

if you are one of my important significant person

then you will see my true colors

not so nice view actually.....sigh 

and you will not like it..yeppp ...yeppp

if you are not significant

you will meet a super nice girl next door nina

im not a hypocrite 

am just weird sometimes

most of the times

believe me people

i am a lover

i am a romantic person in my own way

 i am not a fighter

when i fight...it means i need to refresh my brain and feeling

a minute after that i will be okay 

if you knew me well

you will know

i am sorry 

if you don't have super powerful patience 

i am sorry 

for all the bad mean words i said

i am sorry

if you think i have no regrets at all 

i just want you to know

i am trying so hard to improve myself to be a better person

everyday 

i am sorry i let you down

sigh

and 

thank you so much

for all the patience and guidance and love

i am lucky until now

i don't know what will happen tomorrow

He Is My  Backbone

butifsomethinghappen

i will never blame you

xoxo,

yours

3.00pm30oct2012

between bad and good

happy aidiladha

hi

happy aidiladha

happy hari raya qurban

whatever you called it

be happy with your loved ones

 im going to muar 
sepaussatan's hometown

:)

oh yess
this raya qurban
surrogate love
from her family 

salam aidil adha

be safe

and happy holiday

 yours sincerely

 nina 
9 zulhijjah

12.54pm 

holiday mode

permintaan kecil

nota ini nota lama...telah ku tulis dengan jiwa yang lara terluka... angkara mulut manis penuh dusta ..akibat lidah tidak bertulang tetapi bercabang dua...datangnya bukan dari ular berbisa.. tetapi dari manusia penuh nista...

nota ini ku tulis selepas tahunya aku tentang satu penipuan keji

nota ini nota tertulis dengan air mata dan penuh keluhan berat

nota ini nota tertulis dengan sejuta pertanyaan kenapa? kenapa? dan kenapa?

nasihatku satu...jangan percaya pada manisnya bicara... jangan percaya pada tindak tanduk yang terhijab dek mata ...tapi percayalah pada satu kuasa...percayalah pada DIA...kita dianiaya.. berdoalah agar terbuka hijab segala pembohongan di dunia 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Permintaanku kecil saja
Untuk rasa bahagia
Dengan cinta

Temanilah aku membaca buku
Biarkan kepalaku beralas perut buncitmu
Lalu diamlah sehingga mendengar bicaraku

Temanilah aku bernyanyi
Walau suaraku umpama mimpi ngeri
Kesanggupan mendengar itu pasti lebih bererti

Temanilah aku bersantap
Meski makanan tak sedap
Pasti lazat kalau kau suap

Temanilah aku dalam perkara yang bodoh-bodoh
Perkara lucu lagi dungu huduh
Andaiku melulu kau berilah aku lampu suluh

Temanilah aku ketika aku bisu
Tika kata-kata macam peluru berpandu
Tika wajah lebih manis dari tebu
Hatta lebih pahit dari hempedu

Temanilah aku ketika bergelak ketawa
Gurau senda melatari suasana
Ataupun ketika duka berlinang air mata
Saat bahagia sirna
Saat derita tiba
Saat dicelah hilang percaya
Temanilah aku saja
Kerna kekuatan adalah kita

Temanilah aku juga
Dalam setiap patah kata
Dalam setiap tutur bicara
Dalam setiap langkah penuh bergaya
Mahupun langkah yang goyah penuh tanda tanya

Temanilah aku dengan tanpa berjanji pasti
Kerana janji boleh dimungkiri
Temanilah aku tanpa sumpah setia
Kerana sumpah hanyalah kata-kata
Temanilah aku tanpa mengemukakan bukti
Kerana bukti mampu dijual beli
Temanilah aku tanpa ada pengkhianatan
Kerana khianat adalah racun yang tak kelihatan
Temanilah aku tanpa bercakap bohong
Kerana bohong menghasilkan kegelapan lohong

Aduh!

Tetapi...
Temanilah aku dengan ikatan hati
Ikatan hati, sayang.. bukan ikatan kertas bercop jari
Ikatan yang hanya kita berdua boleh mengerti
Ikatan yang kita tahu kita tak rela cemari
Tanpa tutur, kita boleh saling fahami
Tanpa gerak, kita boleh berintuisi

Temanilah aku berjuang
Kata-kata sayang
Jangan dilelong pada semua orang
Ayat-ayat cinta
Jangan dijaja sebagai halwa telinga
Ungkapan rindu
Jangan disepah di sini sana situ
Ucapan I love you?
Owh sungguh bermakna pada jiwa dan bibirku
Bahagianya cinta kalau kau juga rasa begitu

Temanilah aku
Dan aku akan menemanimu
Seadamu
Waktu-waktumu

Bukankah kecil saja permintaanku?
Aku cuma mahu kau menemaniku
Sampai Syurga Yang Maha Satu...

why lie

if you can tell the truth?

why cheat

if its not love

just tell her the fricking truth

human! huh!

xoxo

~NLR~
31jan2010
1.26pm

 booing the liar

tuesday's letter

dear Tuesday

why am i still in the office?

i should be home by now

enjoying my dinner

pampering myself

cuddling my bear

running or zumbaing latin  

couch potatoing 

or just be pretty ..puih

dear weather

you have been gorgeous lately

you are gorgeous in a nice hot day

you are gorgeous in a cold freezing rainy day

now would you tell your friend over here

to be as gorgeous as you are

dear cough

i dont hate you

i dont love you either 

its been a week since you and i stucked together

now, could you please go

just go

its getting weird you know

coz we are not in a relationship 

you understand that right? 

dear home

i know

i miss you too

wait for me

dear Tuesday ..thank you

hey Wednesday...bring it on!

photo credit : akuhensemnye

xoxo

 green lady

9.14pm231012

stucked

monologue

so many things to do

so little time

nervous

nerve wrecking

im a nerve wreck fool

ha ha ha and stop

-_____-

dateline oh deadline

i don't wanna die...yet

ha ha ha and stop

not funny at all

-_________-

i may look calm 

but in my head i've squeezed my brain million times

i am screaming but no one can hear

i am running out of oxygen

i think i'm drowning

i think i'm falling from the highest building  

i think i'm in the war peng peng pengg

oh oh ohhhh anxiety

can you feel that?
huh! 

can you feel that??

-______-

someone told me

in a day

there are 24 hours

what do you do with that 24 hours?

count and make sure it is balance

;)

okayyyyy

i got it

this is just a monologue

from somebody outside my body

but the truth is..here i am...

cold and hungry 

i can manage my time

no worries

8 hours gone for work

another hours lets spend it 

with something other than work

count your blessings ...not your problems

xoxo

miss monologue

6.58pm

between heart and mind 

BITS + PIECES .. ~~Random~~

BITS + PIECES ~~~Random~~

i choose random for my Bits and Pieces today...

unedited pictures

~~everywhere~~

xoxo,

super random girl

1.50pm

upside down

a baby talking

sorry for the grammatical error....this is a baby talking ;p

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

when i was a fetus

momma was so thin

and weak

she cant eat anything

cant even drink

she will throw it out

all out

poor momma

but she was/is a strong woman

she still did her work 

as a mom and wife

papa was/is such a loving husband

he did everything to help momma feel better

every time momma need to go to clinic

papa carried her like a baby

because she was too weak to carry her own body

everybody said papa spoiled her wife so much

but they were just jealous

coz papa loves his wife unconditionally 

when i was a baby

i loved to cry

i was afraid of people i didn't recognized 

so hard for momma to go anywhere

im sorry momma

momma carried me with her left hand while cooking

momma carried me everywhere she went

or else ill cried my lungs out 

everybody told momma

dont spoiled me too much

momma said..she wasnt spoiled me

she was just being a mom

and as always...papa being a loving husband and papa

he helped his wife whenever he can

and their love grew 

when i was a teenager

oh my

i was such a horrible stubborn person

i cannot count how many times i hurt their feelings..sigh

in school, i was okay...excellent in every aspects

in house and outside school, i was not okay...excellent in every bad attitudes

i hurt momma's feeling not a million times...but triple million times

momma was the one who looked after us everyday

papa was so far away...several times a month only i got to see him

i know he was hurt too..but i was too rebel to care

as far as i remember, he never scolded me ..beat me? not even once

but they never give up hope on me

not that i didnt have something for them to proud of...

many things to be proud of but...

i was just too rebellious to handle..thats it

errrr can i skip this part ;p

"kalau mama tak sayang...tidak akan ditegur ..tidak akan dimarah...kalau satu hari mama tak marah kamu... tak tegur kamu...ingatlah!! masa tu...mama dah tak sayang lagi" ~~~momma

every time momma said this...i will cry... hahaha

after spm...

the only thing momma regretted

and sad about was

i had to go far....far away from her

momma always said

when you were a baby...so hard for you to let me go

and now...you want to leave me here, so far away even my eyes cant see  ..tears

oh...my heart crushed into tiny million pieces every time she said this

and papa? hahaa he always act strong but failed ..he cried every time i called him

love my parents so much

and the only reason i write this

is because...i miss them so much

so very much not even words can describe

tears :( hugs and kissses

 love your parents

take care of them

always

xoxo

your rebellious daughter

nina rafael

2.21pm

lost in longing

us~~no more

maybe my heart didn't really skip a beat

and maybe the twinkle in your eyes was just the sun reflecting weird

and maybe the feeling in my stomach was just not having enough for breakfast

and maybe i just thought it was love

------------------------------------------------------

maybe you never like me for me

and maybe you were just a lonely boy trying to fill your heart vacancy

and maybe there were none of your words were true

and maybe you just thought you can develop it to become love

---------------------------------------------------------

maybe we were just two strangers and will always become strangers

and maybe we were destined to experience to be in love but not to the end

maybe we were too stupid and dumb and ego and ...just far

maybe we should stay anonymous and no feelings involved

maybe

we're just not meant to be

-----------------------------------------------------------

us

no more

goodbye

~~ words and hearts should be handled with care...

for words when spoken and hearts when broken 

are the hardest things to repair~~

photo credit : google images

 xoxo,

the loser,

4.42pm

in time machine

evil side talking

'kau jangan buat taik kat aku kalau kau tak nak aku buat taik kat engkau'

'kenapa ada orang tulis macam karangan kat dalam status facebook? kalau memang cereka takpe. tapi kisah kehidupannya...itu sangatlah mengundang tanda tanya...boooo'

'what you give...you get back lah babeh..no question ask! no complaint!'

'you ignore me? i will ignore you back! fair and square heh?'

'Don't talk bullshit lah... i know lah moron!'

'haaa what? like you care?? YEAH...like i care -_-'

'i am evil? oh yeah? then what are you waiting for....you....GTFO' 

sigh! i'm sorry!

stay away if you cant stand me and my thorn
dont tell me i didnt warn you

xoxo

evil10.29am

in deep shit

chicken soup for my soul

You know 

one of those days when you're just a little bit down?

one of those days when you just want to go home and eat a bucket of ice cream?

one of those days when you just need your mom's hug and tell you its gonna be okay?

one of those days when you miss something or someone so badly?

one of those days

not a lot

not weepy or teary

not dying or something

but

you just need a pick me up?

-----------------------------------------------------

well, i am not

today

i am not in 'one of those days' situation 

my day was awesome

everything went well

i was happy and satisfied

and still am

:)

but what is it i feel inside?

makes me wonder

what is it?

By remembering Allah, the hearts rejoice 

(Ar-ra'ad:28) .

and the very truth is

i just need my chicken soup for the soul

not the book kind

but the real kind 

so i will remember

whenever i forgot 

would you be my chicken soup for my soul?

xoxo,

stars lover

7.00pm

near medulla oblongata